I am a man and cannot imagine childbirth. I am 90 years old, so when my children were born I was barely allowed inside the hospital ... certainly nowhere near the room wherein my wife was participating with God in the creation of a new human life. But I know all about pain associated with one's children. At its apex for us was the loss of them -- one at 35, one at 40, one at 64. In between, there were other anxieties, other disappointments, other struggles we might easily have done without. In fact, if one chooses to focus on the negative aspects of parenthood it can seem more bother than its worth. But that is true of anything ... and all things. A lesson my time on earth has taught me is this: Nothing acquired without cost has lasting value. Another lesson? The difference between horror and joy is attitude. I thought the worst of my life was the death of my children (and it was) but then I lost my wife. Every day I thank God for the time I had with them, for that is what gave meaning to my very existence. God is good, and we -- all of us -- are truly blessed.
Thank you for commenting, Stephanie. You're right about the words, but God gives those to me. I am no one special, just another sinner blessed with the gifts of faith and humility. In this life there is faith and pride. Pray He gives you the former, because the latter leads to the grave.
Thank you for commenting, Sarah. Be a little more positive about life, though. Suffering is certainly a part of our time here but so is joy and all the mundane day-to-day in between. The lesson is how little we can do to affect any of it. Humility is the key ... accepting it all in the knowledge God is love. He cares for and provides for each of us as we require and so much more. Each day I ask Him to strengthen my faith, my love of others, and my struggle against Satan. We are helpless without our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
““Nothing acquired without cost has lasting value.”
God/Mother Nature/the Universe/Physics...whichever you serve, does not allow anything to be acquired without cost. Simply choosing to not see or recognize the cost of any action we take does not actually make it “free” of cost. This willful ignorance is a uniquely human invention.
Thank you for commenting, Eric. I am too weak to serve God, but He has filled me with faith and an understanding that nature, physics, and indeed all the universe and its contents are His creation. With love and caring, He provides me with all I need and more. If their is a mystery about God it would be why He would bother himself with a thing as insignificant as me. "... there is faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love." And the most amazing thing is God has given me and continues to fill me with them all.
As a mother, I cannot imagine a harder loss than you and your late wife endured in losing your children. I am impressed by the resilience you show through being able to still testify to God's goodness. It would seem that your faith has helped you to deal with your losses, which is both a testimony to God's goodness and an illustration of what people forego when they give up religious faith.
Thank you for commenting, Eliza. The gift of a child! Is there a greater blessing? When we hold them for the first time ... so much joy, consternation caused by a sense of responsibility for another human life, and pride ... certainly some pride. But this is God's child. Yes, Mom, and to a much lesser degree Dad, had something to do with it, but God creates us all and He has a plan for each of us. It is not given to us to understand, but this life comes with joy and sorrow and we have almost no control over any of it. There is faith in The Almighty and personal pride -- they are incompatible. Pray for faith.
Thanks for commenting, Brian. Childbirth may be God's ultimate example of cost being a prerequisite of worth. For surely there is nothing in this life more valuable than a child and any woman would testify no greater pain than childbirth. But there are other lessons, too: Our life is a collection of moments; and both the joy and the sorrow that accompany them last for just a little while; and throughout it all God loves us and cares for us and wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. In the meantime, He provides all we need -- even faith in Him.
Thanks for commenting, Lynne. I am not a beacon, I am just another sinner. God has given me a facility with words and, far greater, the gift of faith. He blesses me constantly with all I need and so much more. As evidence I am no one special, He blesses you, too, just as often -- you and all His children. I don't know about circles, broken or unbroken, but I know the One True God created the heavens and the earth and made Man in His image. And I know He loves us and cares for us and wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Give up pride, seek humility, pray for faith. Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good.
Thank you for saying this so beautifully! In our eagerness to avoid suffering, we often forget that once we creatures broke the world, Our Creator did not exempt Himself from suffering in order to give ours meaning to a glorious end. “O, happy fault…” as St Ambrose and St Augustine asserted.
Thanks for commenting, Sally. God gives me the words and a facility for using them. To Him be the praise. Mine is a protestant faith and I am not familiar with the words of Saints like Ambrose or Augustine or sadly any of the others. But I do know the words of our Savior Jesus Christ, "Come unto me and I will give you peace."
Thanks for commenting, Patti. God gives me the words and a facility for their use. All praise belongs to Him. In fact, my Creator gives me all that I need and so much more ... including faith, and love for others, and strength to resist the Evil One. For myself I must admit to sin and futility and a recognition of great blessings to ease the disappointments.
Thanks for commenting, Red. One synonym given to wisdom is insight. I suppose that could apply to me. Ninety years of observation might certainly be expected to result in some of that. God has given me a facility with words and enough confidence to make them public. So, humbly, you're welcome. God showers me with blessings constantly. One of those is enough humility to recognize all I have results from his loving generosity. God bless you as well -- including faith and love for others and strength to resist the Evil One.
Thanks for commenting, Mark. All that I am results from God, so if there is wisdom the praise for it belongs to Him. I long for godliness but must admit to sin and shortcoming the same as every other mortal man. My story has some value as an example of life's ups and downs and if it helps others I'm pleased to share it. Each morning I ask God to send his Holy Spirit among my friends and family and to fill their hearts and minds with His loving mercy and His gracious salvation paid for by His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. Consider yourself included.
Thank you, Roy, for your prayers before the throne of Grace that now include me. Know that you are from here forward in mine as well. Peace go with you!
God is good, and we -- all of us -- are truly blessed.
God uses each of us - our hands, our mouths, our abilities - to do his work. This comment was a blessing to me as I start this Sunday. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this article.
Thanks for commenting, girl. You're right about God and I am blessed with a facility with words. It is another blessing to hear these words he gave me were helpful to you. I'm happy to share and happy for you. I know that God blesses you -- as he does me -- constantly.
Thanks for commenting, Madeleine. My story is useful as an example of life's ups and downs. It is another of God's blessings to hear they were helpful to you. Those losses Susan and I shared are useful as examples of life's ups and downs. They, like all disappointments, are offset by the multitude of joys. Praise God and pray for faith and love and mercy.
Thanks for your good wishes, Gordon. God does bless me constantly. Each morning I ask Him to send His Holy Spirit among my friends and family and to fill their hearts and minds with His loving mercy and with His gracious salvation paid for by the innocent life, bitter suffering and death, and glorious salvation of His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. Consider yourself included.
Thanks for commenting, Shirley. Sadness is not what I hoped to engender; but rather faith and hope and peace in the knowledge that God loves us and wants us -- each and every one of us -- to share eternity with Him in heaven. I pray He sends His Holy Spirit unto you and opens your heart and mind to His loving mercy and to His gracious salvation paid for by the innocent life, bitter suffering, death, and glorious salvation of His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
Thanks for commenting, Jam. If my words have moved you to remember anything, let it be this: God gives me the words and blesses me with a facility for their use. He provides me constantly with all that I need and much more. But most of all, remember He loves each and every one of us and He wants you and me and everyone to spend eternity with Him in heaven. I believe He uses all His powers to bring about that end; and while we hardly ever understand the why of anything, that's it! He's working to overcome our shortcomings so we can enjoy the final blessing of all blessings: His salvation.
Thanks for your comment, Lynda. You're welcome. If my words have inspired you, I hope it is to seek a clearer understanding of your relationship with God. He loves each and every one of us and He wants us all to share eternity with Him in heaven. I believe He uses all His powers to bring about that end; and while we hardly ever understand the why of anything, that's it! He's working to overcome our shortcomings so we can enjoy the final blessing of all blessings: His salvation.
20 yrs ago I gave birth to my one and only child. It was a lousy pregnancy. I was sick the entire 9 months, all day every day. I managed to keep some things down but felt horrid most of the time. I also had restless leg syndrome, and depression because I felt so crappy all the time. I labored for 18 hrs, pushed for 2, then went in for a C-section. She was 9.3 lbs and I have a narrow pelvis/hip region. But she finally arrived and she was my little ball of sunshine. I never felt so much love and joy and know I never will. Not like that.
I tore my rotator cuff during this time. I came home with my infant and a script for 3 weeks of PT. Off I’d go, infant in carrier, between feedings, changes, naps, and on very little sleep I just did what I had to do.
I honestly believe because the pregnancy was so difficult and that was now over, other stuff did not seem so hard.
20 yrs later I was in the same hospital, in the trauma unit. Last Tues I a tractor trailer ran a red light at high speed and t-boned right into my driver side. I was pinned in the car. I have a fractured pelvis and 3 fractured lower vertebrae. 11 stitches in my arm. I’m using a Walker to get around.
That baby, now an adult is here helping to take care of me as I heal, along with my husband.
All I can do is thank God I survived and thank God for my family. I am suffering but they are here with me to help me get through it. My daughter had other plans for her spring break but chose to be by my side instead.
There’s the meaning behind my suffering an awful pregnancy and injury during delivery. There are others too. I am truly blessed and grateful and yet experiencing the worst pain right now and I did nothing to deserve it. But life doesn’t care.
I was told once by a Navy SEAL working as an instructor at BUD/S that in his view women in general have much higher pain tolerances than men. This is my own observation too.
Our scars, and the pain which caused them, make us who we are. And few things are sadder than making it to old age without any signs of wear. I myself have long been far beyond that danger.
It seems likely that sharing your story is making you feel a bit better--I really do think this is a positive use of the internet in general and comment boards like this in particular--and for my part I am glad to have the chance to wish you a speedy recovery, and commend you for a positive attitude.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a part time caregiver for my mom a few days a week. She wanted to stay in her home, and I wanted that for her too. My older brother lived with her so she wasn't alone, and two others and their wives cared for her too, for years. I reminded myself to always count it a privilege to care for her, clean her bathrooms, etc. because someday I would not have that blessing. At 92, before she passed, she patted my hand lovingly and told me there was a reason I was born, and was so thankful for the help. She was my dear little friend, I loved her so much... I was the last of six and the only girl.
Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story! What a lovely daughter you have reared. May you have swift and complete healing and your pain subside quickly. God bless you and your daughter.
We manufacture meaning for the random insults of life: There is no "meaning" to life per se; so it is for all of us to think of a damned good one; rather damned bad or evil one.
Wow. The author articulates the problem of pain and the resulting crisis that the war on suffering has brought about, in a manner both moving and profound. I believe this modern attitude harks back to the Original Sin of mankind, that of wanting to be like gods. We are tempted into hubris and never anticipate the folly of it as we plunge ahead, wreaking havoc and moral chaos, smacking our foreheads and wondering why.
Another brilliant piece from the Free Press. Congratulations to the author on her newborn.
The modern world is not evil; in some ways the modern world is far too good. It is full of wild and wasted virtues. When a religious scheme is shattered (as Christianity was shattered at the Reformation), it is not merely the vices that are let loose. The vices are, indeed, let loose, and they wander and do damage. But the virtues are let loose also; and the virtues wander more wildly, and the virtues do more terrible damage. The modern world is full of the old Christian virtues gone mad. The virtues have gone mad because they have been isolated from each other and are wandering alone. Thus some scientists care for truth; and their truth is pitiless. Thus some humanitarians only care for pity; and their pity (I am sorry to say) is often untruthful.
What an excellent, thoughtful piece to begin one's Saturday morning. The stupidity of humans is perhaps only exceeded by our hubris. This entire society we've created - of vast wealth, freedom from hunger and disease, comfort, entertainment and security - can be wiped out in a matter of minutes by a man-made or natural catastrophe. I'm currently reading The Children of Ash and Elm, a history of the Vikings. Had not known that a series of volcanic eruptions in the AD 500s had blotted out the sun for years, leading to crop failures, starvation and the erasure of population from swaths of the northern climes. Imagine that today with seven billion hungry mouths to feed. We can also see society crumble from a nuclear exchange and EMP or, more likely, our electric grids fail due to the green madness of unreliable wind and solar. Not sure where this musing leads except to observe that a nation that places itself in the hands of a corrupt, senile and imbecilic leader of a cabal of carnival freaks is not likely to fare well in any calamity. Especially when the populace has become so soft, indolent and compliant that they let a relatively mild virus put the nation into a lawless lockdown and tolerated medical stupidity on a massive scale in the name of "soy-yence." Perhaps a little pain is good for us and more reliance on the Stoics is required?
Aldous Huxley was a modern day seer, a soothsayer. He wrote "Brave New World" in 1931 and we are watching his predictions unfold today. Huxley was genius who really foresaw the future. I was forced to read "Barve New World" in high school and thought Huxley was coocoo for coco puffs but then I was 16 year old and didn't know my ass from a tea kettle.
There were some things in today's essay I did not agree with:
"Law is one domain that has particularly curtailed suffering, especially the physical type: the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity; the state-by-state campaigns of the 1990s and 2000s to abolish the death penalty. Or, more recently, the growth of the right-to-die movement and its legalization in 10 states plus D.C. if given a fatal prognosis from a physician—a right that our friends in Canada have expanded to include chronic mental illness or economic hardship."
"Law is one domain that has particularly curtailed suffering, especially the physical type: the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity"
Now instead of the mentally ill living in state institutions, getting three meals a day and a roof over their heads, they are living on the streets, defecating on the sidewalks. Granted, many of the state institutions were snake pits. However, those pushing to deinstitutionalize the mentally ill, could have fought to change the snake pits into clean, sanitary, compassionate mental hospitals with trained mental health workers on staff.
Instead these callous "compassionate, caring" leftist dumped them on the streets and the "caring" left never looked back, declaring their crusade a triumph. I would have labeled it a horrible, inhumane, failure.
I have a much different take on the death penalty. Ted Bundy was a brutal, murdering psycho who murdered at least 14 women in the most horrible manner. These were 14 deaths we know of. Law enforcement knew he had killed many more but couldn't prove it.
The "compassionate" left always beats their breasts over the execution of murders but never thinks about or consoles the families of the murdered. The left wanted to give Bundy three hots and a cot for the rest of his miserable life. That's right. Let's give this animal three hot meals a day and a warm dry place to sleep and free medical care for the rest of his life at our expense.
The unicorn rainbow party is insane. They have a hard time with reality. Insanity has been defined as someone who has had a break from reality. I think that describes the left to a T.
Yes, LonesomePolecat, Huxley was amazingly prescient. The elites at the World Economic Forum who are running the Western world are not concerned with the suffering of the masses, their concerns are all about ESG & the climate. Humans are simply an annoyance with their anxiety, depression, suicides, concern over massive violent crime increases, homeless people defecating on their lawns, inflation and loss of meaning.
Today most people are not Huxley's "happy slaves" but miserable sufferers.
As the author, who prepared for her difficult pregnancy by watching the horrors of "1917," I prepared for the coming dystopia by reading Leon Uris' "Mila 18." The story of the death-defying Jewish freedom fighters in the Warsaw Ghetto. These nobel souls knew their death was a near-certainty yet took out many Nazis before they were killed themselves. I finished the book October, 2019. This somewhat prepared me for the Covid lockdowns and the violent riots following the death of George Floyd.
My previous twenty years, spending a great deal of time actively combating the university and Islamist totalitarians taught me that the end of freedom in the US might be near.
Because I was emotionally prepared, I was ready to immediately do many things to protect my family, including buying another home outside our home state of California in August of 2020. This gives me a solid feeling that I am being conscientious given the knowledge I have gained about future probabilities.
In February of 2021 I reread "Brave New World" for further clarity on the mindset of our modern day techo-totalitarians.
I believe we can do a great deal to prepare ourselves by striving to understand where we may be headed. Then hopefully the pain will not be as great.
Of interest to me is you bringing up Bundy. You see Ted Bundy killed two friends of mine. Girls I was literally hanging out with shortly before they were killed. And it is that case that turned me hard against the death penalty. I saw the terror he caused. I felt the loss of innocence. I also saw the circus around his execution where hawkers were selling "Bundy Fries" around Stark that day. I saw the cheers and the joy in those who went to hang out at the prison that day. And I then understood that I could never support the death penalty again. You can read accounts of it on line if you want. There is also a long history of crowd behavior around executions going back a thousand years. Executions is a soul destroying action even when we know they are guilty of heinous crimes. It's the government demonstrating their power over us. Just look at who they execute (the poor, destitute, mentally ill and dark skinned) and it tells you everything you need to know about what the death penalty actually is. There was no joy for me that day back in 1989. No great relief. Nothing.....................I felt nothing.
Do you recommend this history, Bruce? I'd like to read a good one of the Vikings. I've been diving into the history of medieval Scotland and Britain---yes, I still make a distinction; Scotland Forever!--and Vikings were so much part of that.
Yes. One EMP and we're back to the preindustrial era. I don't think we're prepared for that.
Aye, lad, I would fight ye to the death, but me giant Scottish yam sacks are skidding on the peat because me bonnie wee kilt shrunk in the wash so I must knit a cradle for the boys before they explode and wipe out the Highlands with their volcanic Scot might . . .
Plus, I'm a third Scot, a third English, a third German, with some Irishers in the woodpile somewhere, so I am always fighting with meself and therefore so exhausted I can barely drag me and my yams to me pub. Be a good lad and spot me a pint, eh?
It's a slog but filled with interesting information. The first almost 100 pages were about the various gods, giants etc. I guess necessary to set the stage Seems to be picking up. I need to start reading more during the day but work keeps pulling me back in. 20 pages before bed and zzzz.......So much for "semi-retired."
Does he say Why? I would have thought the middle of the 14th century was fit that bill. It was the time the little ice age started and the black plague hit. Crops froze in the fields and people starved by the tens of thousands and continued to starve until hardier crops were introduce and of course the black plague killed about 1/3 of the population. The plague was so bad that wolves ran in the streets of Paris.
So twice within two millenia we had catastrophic crop failures, disease and social breakdown. And we think we so advanced and immune to that. I do worry about the world my grandchildren will live in.
btw - these dialogues are why I love what Bari has done here. Interaction with smart people who all see things a bit differently. Thanks you both.
Since history always repeats itself, we're long overdue for a Black Plague/Ice Age/sunblocking event that will change the world as we know it. Covid was only a dress rehearsal for the grade school pageant, and we handled that so terribly I cannot imagine how humanity would deal with a population killer of 33 percent.
I think the 9nly good thing that came out of covid is that regardless of which side each of us settled on we all know that something truly problematic is coming and we will react better. Better at assessing if it is truly problematic, better at responding if it is.
I would love to think we learned something valuable from this Covid experience, so we don't repeat the mistakes but accentuate the stuff that works during the next catastrophe. Politicians have short memories, though, so I'm not hopeful from that end. Everyday people DO learn, though, so next time we may just sort through the options for ourselves and work it out.
Could be the loss of the bees this go around. Or my faith says the world will be cleansed by fire next time. All that activity in the Ring of Fire and elsewhere gives me pause.
I'm sure it would have been no consolation to someone dying of the plague in the 14th century that historians have determined there was a worse time to be alive then their time. Just like I'm sure that someone currently dying of Ebola in Africa or someone being tortured by some Junta would not be comforted. It's not only time, it's also place and personal situation. All middle-class Americans are incredibly blessed and lucky compared to the majority of people, not only throughout human history, but even today.
That is what my husband says of modern Americans - that we are the freest, the healthiest, the wealthiest people in history. Are we perfect? No. Do we have much to be thankful for? Yes. Should we be happy? I think we should.
I cannot fathom how people in this country don’t see this. I’m well aware that everyone has different circumstances some better than others. But to not be able to see that simply being born in this country means you have won the lottery is willful blindness.
It's what Bruce Miller said above. Volcanic eruptions blotted out the sun for years, leading to crop failures and widespread famine. It was essentially nuclear winter before nukes.
The two are pretty much interchangeable; Justinian's Plague was the first instance of bubonic plague in the West; the Black Death the second. Without either, England wouldn't have been and the world would be a very piss-poor place indeed... Oh, and wolves in Paris? What a good idea! /snark
We had been stopped at Badon Hill. Post-Roman Britain had stabilised and contained our invasions. "Artthurian" Britain was still in communication by sea with Justinian's Empire. We were not. The Plague of Justinian and the environmental downturn did for the British Recovery and the English advance resumed to establish the Seven Kingdoms that Athelstane would make England of. The Black Death saw England emerge from the Conquest and established the conditions for our mercantile and industrial greatness: the destruction of bastard feudalism and sheer muscle as a resort. That moat that is the wall of England ensured that the plague though dire was not so dire as it was in benighted Europe. There are other important contingencies; but absent these, absent England; absent England, absent Modern World. After England, the Deluge of the Now.
Antibiotic resistance is becoming more and more common and frankly is THE biggest problem in microbiology (I teach Medical Microbiology). We need to invest in finding solutions beyond antibiotics since bacteria evolve resistance so rapidly, but it is an uphill battle. The age of antibiotics is not completely over, but we are getting dangerously close. 😖 my father in law died in the ICU from a hospital acquired pneumonia cause by a resistant bacterial infection. They tried the antibiotic of last resort (causes kidney failure) and that didn’t work. Then there was nothing left to try, literally nothing. This situation is becoming more common. 😔
True enough then, substitute antibiotics for vaccine - but will all Americans believe the CDC and whoever the government is that the medicines will work? Or only some?
I think it depends. Antibiotics have been around forever. A lot of vaccines have, too (e.g. polio). The mRNA vaccines have not, and they don't seem to be working like we were told they would.
True true ... but we also seem to forget that until relatively recently 1 in 20 women died in childbirth. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s safe. I’m thankful everyday for the miracle of modern medicine that saved my son’s life during childbirth and angry everyday at the shame other women inflicted on me because I had a c section, as if there’s a prize you deserve beyond a healthy baby.
Agreed. We really do forget how dangerous childbirth was - and that patriarchal society allowing for multiple wives probably was considered an answer to that. But women now also elect c sections just to avoid pain, and doctors are losing age old skills because they default to c sections more and more. What happens when we no longer have antibiotics to clear infection or drugs to make the cut?
I’m grateful to the medicine that allowed for me to have a c section. This article makes me want to try for a totally natural birth next just to stick it to the anti-pain establishment! (But we’ll see…)
Wellllllll… not just to avoid pain. Also to avoid myriad other things. Childbirth doesn’t always go according to “birth plan”. There are so many bad outcomes that are avoided by c section which is why many physicians also elect c section when they have their own babies. Doulas are nice and I’m no fan of big pharma but we’ve come a long to way to prevent death and harm to babies who at the end of the day matter more to me than the experience. When it goes well that’s fantastic but when it doesn’t, it’s a lifetime of tragedy.
I remember during my first Ironman triathlon (2.1 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run), at around mile 18 of the run, it was dark out (I'd started in the water at 8am), and the field had spread out. I was all alone in my misery, physically & mentally exhausted and hurting. Suddenly I remembered being in childbirth, (I had given birth twice, without an epidural), in the transition phase, which is near the end and typically the hardest. I thought, "this is the closest my male competitors will ever get to experiencing the extreme physical, emotional and mental challenge of enduring suffering in a very solitary place." It occurred to me that this may be why these extreme endurance events sell out in minutes. Perhaps in our relatively easy, comfortable lives, a part of us yearns for the suffering, and the profound joy and accomplishment of reaching that finish line. This was an excellent essay. My OB-Gyn could not understand why I would eschew the epidural. He said, "Why would you want to suffer when you don't need to?" I didn't bother explaining myself, but I was thinking, "There is always a price to pay for taking the easy road" (I was afraid of possible side effects eg chronic migraines, back issues). I often think to myself, and I tell my kids: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." I believe we parents need to do a better job of role modeling doing what's right, which may often mean not doing what's easy. I'm a therapist, and I firmly believe that if we focus on prioritizing sleep, exercise, healthy diet, time in nature, connecting with others, meaningful work, setting limits on screens/social media, nurturing a spiritual practice - we could prevent and solve so many issues.
It’s kinda funny we women try to think of comparable pain men endure to compare it to the birth process. My husband said having a kidney stone must be similar to the pain of childbirth. I can’t say because I’ve never had one. I can say am grateful to be a woman...I *get* to experience pregnancy and childbirth. I’m the lucky one.
You can ignore him, you can pretend he doesn’t exist, you can stick your head in the sand, you can make yourself believe he’s something else, but mean ol’ Mr. Reality will show up at your door, and you’ll pay the price for being alive sooner or later.
Delayed gratification has disappeared hasn’t it. Now it’s give them what they want when they want it and if oh by the way it doesn’t turn out that good or they mortgage their pay checks to get it, well then fix that too.
Fascinating article. Deeply insightful. With so much to comment on, the gem that grabbed me was, "the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity"
We don't hear nearly enough about the root cause of modern vagrancy: utopian ideals. I'm in Atlanta with my daughter and not seeing a lot of dignity. Although I do see a lot of individuals whose mental illness and/or life choices are making life unbearable for everyone around them.
Yet no one has the courage to propose the obvious solution: institutionalizing the mentally ill and the dangerously addicted for the benefit of both those suffering and for society at large.
I don't think the deinstitutionalization was necessarily "to lessen pain." I think the short-sighted architects of the plan were responding to real inadequacies (pardon the euphemism for barbarian conditions) and didn't think about the negative consequences of simply letting people go free. They didn't lessen pain, they simply shifted it around. So often the architects of policies are not living the lives that are affected by their policies, due to their wealth, so they imagine they are "helping the oppressed" when they let loose dangerous individuals - they don't think about the victims of those individuals (who are often other mentally ill people, sometimes not). If we look honestly, I think a lot of what on the surface look like attempts to eradicate or reduce suffering are actually attempts to "clean one's conscience." I.e., "I don't support keeping people in mental hospitals (cause I'm so pure)" and "I don't think any breed of dog should be banned (because I'm so righteous)" and secret, unspoken, not-even-thought reality is "I get to think these things because in MY neighborhood there aren't insane people walking around waving knives or pitbulls off-leash." As one old ex-crack addict ex-con likes to tell me, "When I was young, society cared enough about us addicts to lock us up and get us sober. These days they let the kids die in the streets and they call it compassion." We're only pretending to lessen pain. I'm all for lessening pain, but the examples given in the essay are for the most part problems of failing to eradicate pain by going about it foolishly (or not going about it at all, but only pretending to.)
Psychologist try to reshape the individual to live inside the current structure of society. Sociologist try to reshape the structure to allow for a wider variety of individuals to live in it. Both projects are problematic. But, if you have ever traveled to other western countries you understand that homelessness/mental illness/violent crime while ubiquitous is handled much worse in the USA. No doubt we can do better. I always think it is funny when conservatives blame the liberals for all that is wrong hoping we will forget that not that long ago women were kept in the homes for domestic labor, blacks had a 80% poverty rate and children were routinely maimed working in factories and the right for routine assembly were suspended for workers while they were beaten in the streets.
You are doing precisely what you say those who blame the left are doing, you are just giving all the credit to the left for freedoms extended to various groups. But as for the homeless situation it is a combination of closing down mental health institutions without alternatives provisions therefor. And that was largely a result of liberalism run amok.. Homeless is also hugely impacted by rampant addiction in this country. Some addicts are self-medicating mentally I'll persons and some mentally ill persons got that way via drug-induced psychosis. Then there is the impact of the current economic downturn but those people are usually homeless temporarily.
Show me in my post where I was giving "all the credit to the left?" Yes, I pointed out places where conservatives had damaging ideas or decided to avoid issues for ideological reasons.
I am simply pointing out that ideology, whether on the left or right, leads people to point the finger at their imaginary enemies, which you go on to do; ".......largely the result of liberalism run amok." I think you can find hundreds of examples of items you can blame on either conservatives or liberals and by deselecting one side or another create a false dichotomy. Maybe there is a middle ground with the mental illness situation, maybe there isn't, but deinstitutionalization was implemented to try to help the situation and doesn't seem to have. Maybe institutionalization was really about denying the issue and hiding it away and now we have to face the issue? All I know is that in western Europe, Australia, etc. you don't see large encampments of homeless individuals like you do in almost any major city in the US. So other countries have ideas that we might consider.
You used to not "see"homeless encampment here either. They existed but were deemed not conducive to good governance for lack of a better term. IOW they were bad for city business. That ended with striking down laws which criminalized public camping in defined areas. And that was very much a leftist/progressive ideal. And the rationale was what you parroted, would you rather they be hidden? To be honest I do not know. In Austin it is no longer hidden. I no longer go to Austin. And not simply because I want to pretend it does not exist but because of two things. First I do not know the solution. I have represented mentally ill and/or addicted homeless people and I am empathetic, as I am for virtually every one of my clients. But in my experience all of the efforts to help are largely to no avail because you cannot help people unwilling to help themselves. Second I fear for my safety. Also the push to release people from.mental institutions was indeed a push from leftists/progressives. A VERY short-sighted push IMO. I hit Houston to attend school at the same time the institution doors were opened. They put severely ill.people on buses with a few dollars and that was it. They congregated around the Greyhound bus station downtown en masses. The Houston natives were stunned. I am sure it was a scene played out across the nation. Oddly enough though the idea of institutionalizing the mentally ill started out as a compassionate, progressive (not as in the political progressive idealogy) thing to do in the late 1800s. The institutions were cutting edge at that time. People were often commited at the behest of families thst could not care for them but loved them.nevertheless. But like a lot of things there was not proper oversight and probably insufficient funding. So the facilities deteriorated. But the answer, IMO, was not to shut them down, but rather to modernize them. Additionally oddly (how about that phraseology?) we are now seeing hard-core progressive ideologues that are overwhelmed by the homeless in their cities calling once again for involuntary commitment and rehabilitation. I am far from a progressive ideologue and I agree so yes I guess there is middle ground. As for where you gave credit to the left I cannot readily access your comment but my impression was that you did so when you referenced liberating women from servitude at home ( which also is not without issues) and black and brown people from their oppressive conditions. Do you not credit liberal/progressive idealogy for doing so?
You are trying to create a left/right dichotomy that does not exist. I am simply saying that the dichotomy of my side is right/good and your side is wrong/evil has never been accurate or productive. The left has indeed overstepped just as the right did previously. Despite all this noise, the trajectory is more human rights, not less and is only accomplished in short bursts. Power corrupts as it tries to keep feeding itself. True believers are the problem..............as they lack the capacity to compromise/understand/change.
Now it’s darn near impossible to get somebody hospitalized even when all the signs of serious mental illness are there. Time is an enemy when it comes to mental breakdowns.
I really like where your mind went reading this beautiful article.
Never underestimate the power of over-correction. Somehow, there is just never quite the right amount of baby to throw out with the bath water...
Traverse City, MI, has a former insane asylum, Traverse City State Hospital, that has now been turned into a beautiful, interesting mixed use facility, the Village TC. They offer tours of the buildings and grounds where one can learn about the former hospital and hospital system, and that not all parts of the asylum system were as bad as some of the horror stories dictate, and apparently, this particular hospital, and quite a few others like it, actually even cultivated a high degree of “success” and a reputation that counters the one we all now think of when we hear the word asylum or institution. They were apparently fairly forward thinking and humane with regards to their care ethos, and striving to keep those individual rights and dignities in tact - who knew that was even possible? But alas, gone with the political wind.
To your point, isn’t there some middle ground where we can get at solving some of the societal problems we’re now facing?
Perhaps we’ll even have a day when a healthy, critical-thinking political center will be able to rebuff the attacks from the extremes, and we’ll get to a point of finally cultivating that illusive American Dream... by taking stewardship of the country and setting an actual good example for the world - how’s that for a fucking Utopia?
Care in the Community actually works in the places it has been implemented in whole. The trouble is, like most psychiatric and psychological treatments, the spending for proper implementation has been forgone. The results were in getting on for two centuries ago: institutionalisation doesn't work; it just lets you precious fucktards ignore us.
This reminds me of the recent article regarding obesity and Wegovy. It’s only human nature to wish to trade the discomfort of exercise and diet for a weekly injection. However, what exactly is the trade-off we’re making? Sure, Wegovy is extremely effective, and you will lose weight while taking it, but it comes with its own side effects. The most worrisome of them, to me, is that it indirectly and inevitably reinforces poor lifestyle choices. For example, if a person has a goal of eating fewer Cheetos but takes medication that’s effective no matter how many Cheetos they eat, then any attempt at lifestyle change is rendered useless.
As a result, you lose the wonderful, painful process of refining yourself. A person who denies themselves old desires (Netflix, Cheetos, whatever) when they desperately want to give in becomes a disciplined, perseverant person. Disciplined, perseverant people can contribute more to society, their families, etc., and thus feel more purpose. This is the ultimate goal: to get people in the best position from which to contribute and flourish. Discomfort, suffering, and strife are requisites in this. Instead of trying to escape or modulate the process, we should recognize its place in our personal development.
I agree that Wegovy gets thrown around like candy and Botox, but sometimes things cannot be helped so easily.
Some people really just need help. It’s a shame they end up vilified because celebrities and others abuse it.
Everyone is so focused on criticizing these people for not eating better, but nobody’s willing to ask the question about why the medical establishment hasn’t provided better solutions.
Western medicine barely understands the fundamentals of nutrition and the body. Shutting off your hunger cue will likely help you lose weight, but why not figure out why that cue isn’t triggering correctly? Why not figure out why some bodies metabolize differently than others?
My husband lost 80 pounds and has maintained that healthy weight for over 10 years now. He eats three square meals a day and works out regularly. He still has high blood pressure. There would never be articles written about how he should stop taking it and just try harder. He will have to take it forever. He Mary have kidney or liver damage from it after 40 years (just like my dad).
I know someone on one of these weightloss injection meds. She’s tried harder to lose weight than anyone I know. She has years worth of food logs and activity tracker data to prove it. She’s lived every day of her adult life in a state of actual hunger. That’s an incredible amount of stress on the body. Her doctor started her on extremely low doses and is very slightly increasing every week. She has not had the extreme side effects and she is only just starting to lose a bit of weight after week 4. Most importantly, she doesn’t feel hungry. Her sleep is better, her emotions are better regulated, these all create a very positive chain reaction for a better quality of life. There is real non-weight benefits happening. Maybe she will have to take it forever, but my husband is never getting off that blood pressure med either.
A senior citizen that lives across the street from me is incredibly thin and has been her whole life. She always had a super fast metabolism and is one of the “lucky ones” who always tried to gain weight and couldn’t. She’s only in her 60s but her bones are a wreck because her body wouldn’t hold onto what it needed. She was the envy of everybody when she was in her younger years, but she has real problems now. Doctors never cared because thin = healthy in our world.
I absolutely acknowledge that there is a point where this all just boils down to nothing but personal control, but there is a HUGE gray area here. We do nothing to help the problem by fat shaming and ignoring the real issue that our medical systems and food systems are interconnected in ways they shouldn’t be. That our medical schools are teaching to treat and not to heal. That the money for research is tainted.
I went to medical school. I was never taught “not to heal people.” The truth is I can’t “heal” anyone, as that is a supernatural power. I can only treat people with the tools medical science provides me. Doctors are not gods and we absolutely don’t understand all the intricacies of how the human body works. We are aware that each patient is an individual and must be treated as such-one size/medication does not fit all. We are certainly not withholding our best treatments so you will have to depend on us. Most doctors I know, myself included, want to help patients live their best lives. Lifestyle (nutrition, exercise, stress) is part of that, but not the only part. Good doctors try to work with their patients for the best outcomes.
Yes; pull the other one. If half that were true the shit-show of the last three years wouldn't have gotten out the door. The doctors were busy pursuing Nazi "medicine" both before and after Hitler. The lot of you deserve a good kicking at the very least.
Just like you and whatever your job is, we are individual humans. You paint with a very broad brush. I do not personally know doctors like the ones you are referring to. My son's pediatrician made sure he didn't take the covid booster even though he was traveling to Europe and it was required. Yes, she faked his vaccine card. I am horrified by the "transing" of children and I pray these people will be held accountable for their actions some day. My point is, many doctors do not believe in what is being pushed by the government and even their own medical societies and do not practice in a way they believe is harmful to patients. Most are decent folks with the intent to help. That said, science is inexact, and sometimes we get things wrong. I am sorry you had a bad experience. I wish you well.
Thanks for your response, allow me to clarify my post.
My goal is to point out that, with a drug like Wegovy, the tendency will be to overprescribe. In overprescribing, we will outsource choice, lifestyle change, and general health to Big Pharma. This is a precedent that makes me uncomfortable; I feel it is detrimental both to the individual person and society in general. And I wish to point out the non-medical benefits of a successful diet, exercise, etc, of which suffering and struggle are present. I'm not vilifying or shaming the very people I wish to help.
There are indications for using the drug. And you make a great point regarding its own non-medical benefits; it’s a view that I share. Just like any other medication, the improvement in health will obviously improve a person’s well-being. The goal, though, should remain in limiting the use of medication when lifestyle change can have the same positive effect.
To your point regarding your husband (congrats to him, by the way; losing 80 lbs and keeping it off is one stellar achievement), let’s imagine he didn’t lose that weight and instead went on Wegovy. He’d now be on two medications, and there would be a chance they would interact with each other. The more medications a person is taking, the more likely potential medication interactions will negatively affect their health. This is something unique to medication use and is worth consideration. The "first-line treatment" for high blood pressure is lifestyle changes (DASH diet, smoking cessation, etc.), including weight loss. With Wegovy, if we prescribe it without always encouraging weight loss via diet and exercise, then we condemn people to dependency and potential drug interactions later in life. Pharmaceuticals can never replace lifestyle habits as the bedrock of sound health. This is my main overarching point.
To your point about a lack of solutions and "treating but not healing," there is truth to these things. Wegovy is an example of that—it is a literal treatment for obesity. But I think obesity is much more complicated than being looked at as "just" a medical problem. We fail our patients if we simply view it through a medical lens, hence the lack of solutions. In other words, I don’t wish to simply treat; I wish to heal, just as you and many, many other people do. Wegovy may be a part of that process for some, but it should not be the entire process for all.
I appreciate your reply. I knew that you didn’t necessarily disagree with my view point. My larger goal in replying to your post was for others to see it in the thread and hopefully get everyone thinking about one extra layer on this topic.
At the end of the day all of it ties to another comment I posted earlier on this article. The overall avoidance of struggle is really a false morality to mask selfishness and a lack of willingness to deal with consequences of actions.
Obesity is partly metabolic & partly learned behavior. Why isn't it surprising that obese parents have obese children? Is it inherited or learned. When I was 18 I weighed 129lbs but I was active. I wasn't planted in front of a computer nor a TV. I often knocked off a half a gallon of ice cream. In those days low cholesterol, low fat foods didn't exist. The exception was fresh fruit & vegetables in the summer. In my medical practice I learned that often food gratification was the sole pleasure many experienced in life.
There is a kernal of truth in there; but then again there nearly always is something to build the bullshit story around. Sorry, I'd rather the majotrity be saved than the other road round.
I went on a starvation diet about twenty years ago and lost 35 lbs in three months and have not just kept it off but lost another seven lbs. It is called self control, will power. The obese should try it sometimes.
I'll get hammered for suggesting self control. When I set my mind to something, I become a fanatic. I found it easy to lose weight. It is the way I am wired. Not everybody can do what I did but if they set their mind to it, they can do it.
Some will hate me what I have just said. Unlike the left, I believe one should take responsibility for their actions such as losing weight.
“But eradicating suffering in this country—or at least striving to reach that utopian goal—has come with some unforeseen consequences.”
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Nothing could possibly be *more* foreseen than the consequences of giving progressive left-wing utopianism a try for the 378th consecutive time. We have been telling you this literally the entire time.
Democrat ideology is essentially based on the idea that there doesn’t need to be suffering and that the only reason there is suffering is because Mean White Guys™️ in tuxedos got together in a back room and constructed society to benefit themselves and this is why we suffer. Because their plan was mean. An appealing narrative if you are nine years old and slow.
The idea that there doesn’t actually need to be suffering can easily be tested by walking into the forest in a swimsuit and seeing how the next 48 hours go. Obviously working at Wendy’s for not as much money as you would like is a gigantic upgrade over dying in the forest.
Because springing lunatics from mental hospitals where they were clothed, fed and given medical attention to live their lives under bridges or on subway grates is just so inspiring and liberating. If our progressives didn't have universally bad ideas they'd have no platform, at all.
Psychiatric medicine can actually work; trouble is the psychiatrists always get bored and wander off to pick fluff out of their belly buttons and the other half of the Cunning Plan, the bit that makes it actually work, goes out the window.
The best of mine was in the Alps when he diagnosed himself as having a heart attack. He then proceeded to STILL try and climb the mountain! Pillock. Another said "You're good to go!" to at least three people I know of who killed themselves before getting to the hospital doors.
Psychiatry set such a good example that the rest of the medical "profession" took off after them in the spring of 2020!
They are called quacks because you are best to duck when you see them.
We humans need something against which to measure ourselves. It’s both evolutionary and psychological. How will we know what we’re capable of if we don’t stretch and push ourselves? And genes were not passed down by those who sat shivering in the cave when the wolves came down out of the mountains. Do not mistake me when I say that in one sense I understand what Nietzsche meant when he wrote “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” The kernel of truth there is that it is during that ordeal of experiencing pain, discomfort, and uncertainty that we discover who really we are.
Thank you so much for this piece. I completely agree. I believe my suffering in life has given me the full human experience. As a mother, my childbirth experiences were mind-blowing. I suffered, yes, but there was beauty in the sacrifices, out of love for my babies, and it opened my eyes to the amazing capabilities of what the human body could endure. I revered every mother who had come before me since the beginning of time.
There is one suffering we can never escape, and that is death itself. I lost my mother in my 20s. Another experience of suffering and a grief journey that shaped me to who I am today.
There is plenty of suffering in childbirth and its aftermath (pregnancy related and child rearing) yet to come: my advice would still be to take the epidural. It’s a marathon not a sprint...
Regarding this comment, 1) I agree and 2) I learned an invaluable medical lesson when Dr. Allende gave me an epidural, delivering my child as a fourth year medical student: the relief of suffering is also part of the job of the doctor. “Cure if you can, comfort if you cannot, and never, ever take away hope!” Great article and great comments.
Except when that epidural slows the birthing process to such an extent that a cesarean is “required”. And this happens frequently (about 40% or more of the time). I just read of a young mother last week who “had” to have a cesarean, later developed an infection from the procedure, the infection developed into sepsis, requiring the amputation of both her hands and feet. That is not progress. Birthing is painful, yes, but after a period of time it’s over. Cesarean pain lasts for weeks.
There are few that would not agree with you, including the mothers of my 10 grandchildren. Back in the distant past we were told that natural childbirth was the best way to ensure our baby’s health during birthing. Three pregnancies, two went to 10 months, and each one with no painkillers. I would not change that today. Perhaps my pregnancies and deliveries were easy. I have nothing to compare them against and judge no one for doing anything differently. I felt that I was suffering for the well being of my child. Perhaps it help prepare me for the suffering to come. Who knows?
Excellent article. I live in a cold weather state. My kids walk to school nearly one mile each way (not both uphill 😀) with a group of kids. Once the weather drops below 30, the other parents start driving their kids. We still have our kids walk. I feel my job as a parent is to keep them safe, not to make them comfortable at all times. It’s good for them to overcome some adversity. They were fine walking in the cold weather, with good coats and hats. It gave them a feeling of accomplishment and resilience to start each day, not to mention some exercise, time to talk IRL, and fresh air. I never understood why the other parents needed to prevent their kids from feeling cold for 20 minutes.
I grew up in a cold climate as well. But suffering is relative, right? You might want to have your kids walk to school when it's 28 degrees. But zero degrees? With wind? I think you'll drive them.
Fahrenheit or Celsius? It matters: one is a lot colder than the other. Where matters also. An in-law of mine was in the merchant marine shipping to Narvik, Norway and the dockers would unload him in tees. Mid-winter. In the Arctic.
I am a man and cannot imagine childbirth. I am 90 years old, so when my children were born I was barely allowed inside the hospital ... certainly nowhere near the room wherein my wife was participating with God in the creation of a new human life. But I know all about pain associated with one's children. At its apex for us was the loss of them -- one at 35, one at 40, one at 64. In between, there were other anxieties, other disappointments, other struggles we might easily have done without. In fact, if one chooses to focus on the negative aspects of parenthood it can seem more bother than its worth. But that is true of anything ... and all things. A lesson my time on earth has taught me is this: Nothing acquired without cost has lasting value. Another lesson? The difference between horror and joy is attitude. I thought the worst of my life was the death of my children (and it was) but then I lost my wife. Every day I thank God for the time I had with them, for that is what gave meaning to my very existence. God is good, and we -- all of us -- are truly blessed.
“Nothing acquired without cost has lasting value.” Truer words were never spoken.
Thank you for commenting, Stephanie. You're right about the words, but God gives those to me. I am no one special, just another sinner blessed with the gifts of faith and humility. In this life there is faith and pride. Pray He gives you the former, because the latter leads to the grave.
Yes sir. I will see you in glory someday.
Thank you for sharing this - I am blessed for the opportunity to read it. Suffering gives life its meaning.
Thank you for commenting, Sarah. Be a little more positive about life, though. Suffering is certainly a part of our time here but so is joy and all the mundane day-to-day in between. The lesson is how little we can do to affect any of it. Humility is the key ... accepting it all in the knowledge God is love. He cares for and provides for each of us as we require and so much more. Each day I ask Him to strengthen my faith, my love of others, and my struggle against Satan. We are helpless without our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
““Nothing acquired without cost has lasting value.”
God/Mother Nature/the Universe/Physics...whichever you serve, does not allow anything to be acquired without cost. Simply choosing to not see or recognize the cost of any action we take does not actually make it “free” of cost. This willful ignorance is a uniquely human invention.
Thank you for commenting, Eric. I am too weak to serve God, but He has filled me with faith and an understanding that nature, physics, and indeed all the universe and its contents are His creation. With love and caring, He provides me with all I need and more. If their is a mystery about God it would be why He would bother himself with a thing as insignificant as me. "... there is faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love." And the most amazing thing is God has given me and continues to fill me with them all.
As a mother, I cannot imagine a harder loss than you and your late wife endured in losing your children. I am impressed by the resilience you show through being able to still testify to God's goodness. It would seem that your faith has helped you to deal with your losses, which is both a testimony to God's goodness and an illustration of what people forego when they give up religious faith.
Thank you for commenting, Eliza. The gift of a child! Is there a greater blessing? When we hold them for the first time ... so much joy, consternation caused by a sense of responsibility for another human life, and pride ... certainly some pride. But this is God's child. Yes, Mom, and to a much lesser degree Dad, had something to do with it, but God creates us all and He has a plan for each of us. It is not given to us to understand, but this life comes with joy and sorrow and we have almost no control over any of it. There is faith in The Almighty and personal pride -- they are incompatible. Pray for faith.
"participating with God in the creation of a new human life"
Roy, I absolutely love this way of thinking about it. It's completely true, and yet we rarely talk about it this way. Thanks.
Thanks for commenting, Brian. Childbirth may be God's ultimate example of cost being a prerequisite of worth. For surely there is nothing in this life more valuable than a child and any woman would testify no greater pain than childbirth. But there are other lessons, too: Our life is a collection of moments; and both the joy and the sorrow that accompany them last for just a little while; and throughout it all God loves us and cares for us and wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. In the meantime, He provides all we need -- even faith in Him.
Roy you are a beacon of light in a dimming world. God bless and keep you. I believe in the unbroken circle so I believe you will see your wife again.
Thanks for commenting, Lynne. I am not a beacon, I am just another sinner. God has given me a facility with words and, far greater, the gift of faith. He blesses me constantly with all I need and so much more. As evidence I am no one special, He blesses you, too, just as often -- you and all His children. I don't know about circles, broken or unbroken, but I know the One True God created the heavens and the earth and made Man in His image. And I know He loves us and cares for us and wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Give up pride, seek humility, pray for faith. Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good.
I really do pray every night for humility and for help in my struggle with pride, among other things.
Thank you for saying this so beautifully! In our eagerness to avoid suffering, we often forget that once we creatures broke the world, Our Creator did not exempt Himself from suffering in order to give ours meaning to a glorious end. “O, happy fault…” as St Ambrose and St Augustine asserted.
Thanks for commenting, Sally. God gives me the words and a facility for using them. To Him be the praise. Mine is a protestant faith and I am not familiar with the words of Saints like Ambrose or Augustine or sadly any of the others. But I do know the words of our Savior Jesus Christ, "Come unto me and I will give you peace."
That was beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks for commenting, Patti. God gives me the words and a facility for their use. All praise belongs to Him. In fact, my Creator gives me all that I need and so much more ... including faith, and love for others, and strength to resist the Evil One. For myself I must admit to sin and futility and a recognition of great blessings to ease the disappointments.
Thank you for sharing, your experience and wisdom. I am better for having read it. God Bless ❤️
Thanks for commenting, Red. One synonym given to wisdom is insight. I suppose that could apply to me. Ninety years of observation might certainly be expected to result in some of that. God has given me a facility with words and enough confidence to make them public. So, humbly, you're welcome. God showers me with blessings constantly. One of those is enough humility to recognize all I have results from his loving generosity. God bless you as well -- including faith and love for others and strength to resist the Evil One.
Godly wisdom from a truly Godly man, Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Thanks for commenting, Mark. All that I am results from God, so if there is wisdom the praise for it belongs to Him. I long for godliness but must admit to sin and shortcoming the same as every other mortal man. My story has some value as an example of life's ups and downs and if it helps others I'm pleased to share it. Each morning I ask God to send his Holy Spirit among my friends and family and to fill their hearts and minds with His loving mercy and His gracious salvation paid for by His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. Consider yourself included.
Thank you, Roy, for your prayers before the throne of Grace that now include me. Know that you are from here forward in mine as well. Peace go with you!
God is good, and we -- all of us -- are truly blessed.
God uses each of us - our hands, our mouths, our abilities - to do his work. This comment was a blessing to me as I start this Sunday. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this article.
Thanks for commenting, girl. You're right about God and I am blessed with a facility with words. It is another blessing to hear these words he gave me were helpful to you. I'm happy to share and happy for you. I know that God blesses you -- as he does me -- constantly.
Roy, your story truly touched me. Thank you for posting and I'm so sorry for your losses.
Thanks for commenting, Madeleine. My story is useful as an example of life's ups and downs. It is another of God's blessings to hear they were helpful to you. Those losses Susan and I shared are useful as examples of life's ups and downs. They, like all disappointments, are offset by the multitude of joys. Praise God and pray for faith and love and mercy.
God bless you Roy
Thanks for your good wishes, Gordon. God does bless me constantly. Each morning I ask Him to send His Holy Spirit among my friends and family and to fill their hearts and minds with His loving mercy and with His gracious salvation paid for by the innocent life, bitter suffering and death, and glorious salvation of His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. Consider yourself included.
This is so sad. I’m so so sorry for your losses. Thank you for posting this and the lessons of your life.
Thanks for commenting, Shirley. Sadness is not what I hoped to engender; but rather faith and hope and peace in the knowledge that God loves us and wants us -- each and every one of us -- to share eternity with Him in heaven. I pray He sends His Holy Spirit unto you and opens your heart and mind to His loving mercy and to His gracious salvation paid for by the innocent life, bitter suffering, death, and glorious salvation of His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
I am very moved by this comment. Thank you for writing it. I will remember these lessons.
Thanks for commenting, Jam. If my words have moved you to remember anything, let it be this: God gives me the words and blesses me with a facility for their use. He provides me constantly with all that I need and much more. But most of all, remember He loves each and every one of us and He wants you and me and everyone to spend eternity with Him in heaven. I believe He uses all His powers to bring about that end; and while we hardly ever understand the why of anything, that's it! He's working to overcome our shortcomings so we can enjoy the final blessing of all blessings: His salvation.
Amen. Thank you for writing and sharing your inspiring words.
Thanks for your comment, Lynda. You're welcome. If my words have inspired you, I hope it is to seek a clearer understanding of your relationship with God. He loves each and every one of us and He wants us all to share eternity with Him in heaven. I believe He uses all His powers to bring about that end; and while we hardly ever understand the why of anything, that's it! He's working to overcome our shortcomings so we can enjoy the final blessing of all blessings: His salvation.
Congrats on your new arrival!
20 yrs ago I gave birth to my one and only child. It was a lousy pregnancy. I was sick the entire 9 months, all day every day. I managed to keep some things down but felt horrid most of the time. I also had restless leg syndrome, and depression because I felt so crappy all the time. I labored for 18 hrs, pushed for 2, then went in for a C-section. She was 9.3 lbs and I have a narrow pelvis/hip region. But she finally arrived and she was my little ball of sunshine. I never felt so much love and joy and know I never will. Not like that.
I tore my rotator cuff during this time. I came home with my infant and a script for 3 weeks of PT. Off I’d go, infant in carrier, between feedings, changes, naps, and on very little sleep I just did what I had to do.
I honestly believe because the pregnancy was so difficult and that was now over, other stuff did not seem so hard.
20 yrs later I was in the same hospital, in the trauma unit. Last Tues I a tractor trailer ran a red light at high speed and t-boned right into my driver side. I was pinned in the car. I have a fractured pelvis and 3 fractured lower vertebrae. 11 stitches in my arm. I’m using a Walker to get around.
That baby, now an adult is here helping to take care of me as I heal, along with my husband.
All I can do is thank God I survived and thank God for my family. I am suffering but they are here with me to help me get through it. My daughter had other plans for her spring break but chose to be by my side instead.
There’s the meaning behind my suffering an awful pregnancy and injury during delivery. There are others too. I am truly blessed and grateful and yet experiencing the worst pain right now and I did nothing to deserve it. But life doesn’t care.
I was told once by a Navy SEAL working as an instructor at BUD/S that in his view women in general have much higher pain tolerances than men. This is my own observation too.
Our scars, and the pain which caused them, make us who we are. And few things are sadder than making it to old age without any signs of wear. I myself have long been far beyond that danger.
It seems likely that sharing your story is making you feel a bit better--I really do think this is a positive use of the internet in general and comment boards like this in particular--and for my part I am glad to have the chance to wish you a speedy recovery, and commend you for a positive attitude.
Wow. Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. Get well soon.
Wow! I think you will recover quickly, because of your approach and gratitude. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
God bless you and God speed on your recovery.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a part time caregiver for my mom a few days a week. She wanted to stay in her home, and I wanted that for her too. My older brother lived with her so she wasn't alone, and two others and their wives cared for her too, for years. I reminded myself to always count it a privilege to care for her, clean her bathrooms, etc. because someday I would not have that blessing. At 92, before she passed, she patted my hand lovingly and told me there was a reason I was born, and was so thankful for the help. She was my dear little friend, I loved her so much... I was the last of six and the only girl.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story! What a lovely daughter you have reared. May you have swift and complete healing and your pain subside quickly. God bless you and your daughter.
Thank you for sharing with us. Beauty from the ashes.
Giving thanks for your healing and family 🙏
Wow what an awful experience. Bless you for finding fortune and gratitude in your experiences.
I'm so sorry. Your experience sounds awful, but you have an inspiring attitude that will help you overcome it. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Thank you everyone for the responses and well wishes. It means a lot. 🙏🏼❤️
You are an inspiration
Thank you for sharing your story! I hope you recover soon. <3
This.
We manufacture meaning for the random insults of life: There is no "meaning" to life per se; so it is for all of us to think of a damned good one; rather damned bad or evil one.
Wow. The author articulates the problem of pain and the resulting crisis that the war on suffering has brought about, in a manner both moving and profound. I believe this modern attitude harks back to the Original Sin of mankind, that of wanting to be like gods. We are tempted into hubris and never anticipate the folly of it as we plunge ahead, wreaking havoc and moral chaos, smacking our foreheads and wondering why.
Another brilliant piece from the Free Press. Congratulations to the author on her newborn.
The modern world is not evil; in some ways the modern world is far too good. It is full of wild and wasted virtues. When a religious scheme is shattered (as Christianity was shattered at the Reformation), it is not merely the vices that are let loose. The vices are, indeed, let loose, and they wander and do damage. But the virtues are let loose also; and the virtues wander more wildly, and the virtues do more terrible damage. The modern world is full of the old Christian virtues gone mad. The virtues have gone mad because they have been isolated from each other and are wandering alone. Thus some scientists care for truth; and their truth is pitiless. Thus some humanitarians only care for pity; and their pity (I am sorry to say) is often untruthful.
G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
I aspire to have before me at all times 'Chesterton's Fence'; his swivel-eyed RCC lunacy I leave in the bin; where it should be forgotten and belongs.
RCC lunacy? That’s a lot of lunatics, brother, millions of them wiser, smarter, and more loving than you or I will ever be.
The modern world is what it is and has been for billions of years: it does not care.
What an excellent, thoughtful piece to begin one's Saturday morning. The stupidity of humans is perhaps only exceeded by our hubris. This entire society we've created - of vast wealth, freedom from hunger and disease, comfort, entertainment and security - can be wiped out in a matter of minutes by a man-made or natural catastrophe. I'm currently reading The Children of Ash and Elm, a history of the Vikings. Had not known that a series of volcanic eruptions in the AD 500s had blotted out the sun for years, leading to crop failures, starvation and the erasure of population from swaths of the northern climes. Imagine that today with seven billion hungry mouths to feed. We can also see society crumble from a nuclear exchange and EMP or, more likely, our electric grids fail due to the green madness of unreliable wind and solar. Not sure where this musing leads except to observe that a nation that places itself in the hands of a corrupt, senile and imbecilic leader of a cabal of carnival freaks is not likely to fare well in any calamity. Especially when the populace has become so soft, indolent and compliant that they let a relatively mild virus put the nation into a lawless lockdown and tolerated medical stupidity on a massive scale in the name of "soy-yence." Perhaps a little pain is good for us and more reliance on the Stoics is required?
Aldous Huxley was a modern day seer, a soothsayer. He wrote "Brave New World" in 1931 and we are watching his predictions unfold today. Huxley was genius who really foresaw the future. I was forced to read "Barve New World" in high school and thought Huxley was coocoo for coco puffs but then I was 16 year old and didn't know my ass from a tea kettle.
There were some things in today's essay I did not agree with:
"Law is one domain that has particularly curtailed suffering, especially the physical type: the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity; the state-by-state campaigns of the 1990s and 2000s to abolish the death penalty. Or, more recently, the growth of the right-to-die movement and its legalization in 10 states plus D.C. if given a fatal prognosis from a physician—a right that our friends in Canada have expanded to include chronic mental illness or economic hardship."
"Law is one domain that has particularly curtailed suffering, especially the physical type: the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity"
Now instead of the mentally ill living in state institutions, getting three meals a day and a roof over their heads, they are living on the streets, defecating on the sidewalks. Granted, many of the state institutions were snake pits. However, those pushing to deinstitutionalize the mentally ill, could have fought to change the snake pits into clean, sanitary, compassionate mental hospitals with trained mental health workers on staff.
Instead these callous "compassionate, caring" leftist dumped them on the streets and the "caring" left never looked back, declaring their crusade a triumph. I would have labeled it a horrible, inhumane, failure.
I have a much different take on the death penalty. Ted Bundy was a brutal, murdering psycho who murdered at least 14 women in the most horrible manner. These were 14 deaths we know of. Law enforcement knew he had killed many more but couldn't prove it.
The "compassionate" left always beats their breasts over the execution of murders but never thinks about or consoles the families of the murdered. The left wanted to give Bundy three hots and a cot for the rest of his miserable life. That's right. Let's give this animal three hot meals a day and a warm dry place to sleep and free medical care for the rest of his life at our expense.
The unicorn rainbow party is insane. They have a hard time with reality. Insanity has been defined as someone who has had a break from reality. I think that describes the left to a T.
Yes, LonesomePolecat, Huxley was amazingly prescient. The elites at the World Economic Forum who are running the Western world are not concerned with the suffering of the masses, their concerns are all about ESG & the climate. Humans are simply an annoyance with their anxiety, depression, suicides, concern over massive violent crime increases, homeless people defecating on their lawns, inflation and loss of meaning.
Today most people are not Huxley's "happy slaves" but miserable sufferers.
As the author, who prepared for her difficult pregnancy by watching the horrors of "1917," I prepared for the coming dystopia by reading Leon Uris' "Mila 18." The story of the death-defying Jewish freedom fighters in the Warsaw Ghetto. These nobel souls knew their death was a near-certainty yet took out many Nazis before they were killed themselves. I finished the book October, 2019. This somewhat prepared me for the Covid lockdowns and the violent riots following the death of George Floyd.
My previous twenty years, spending a great deal of time actively combating the university and Islamist totalitarians taught me that the end of freedom in the US might be near.
Because I was emotionally prepared, I was ready to immediately do many things to protect my family, including buying another home outside our home state of California in August of 2020. This gives me a solid feeling that I am being conscientious given the knowledge I have gained about future probabilities.
In February of 2021 I reread "Brave New World" for further clarity on the mindset of our modern day techo-totalitarians.
I believe we can do a great deal to prepare ourselves by striving to understand where we may be headed. Then hopefully the pain will not be as great.
Of interest to me is you bringing up Bundy. You see Ted Bundy killed two friends of mine. Girls I was literally hanging out with shortly before they were killed. And it is that case that turned me hard against the death penalty. I saw the terror he caused. I felt the loss of innocence. I also saw the circus around his execution where hawkers were selling "Bundy Fries" around Stark that day. I saw the cheers and the joy in those who went to hang out at the prison that day. And I then understood that I could never support the death penalty again. You can read accounts of it on line if you want. There is also a long history of crowd behavior around executions going back a thousand years. Executions is a soul destroying action even when we know they are guilty of heinous crimes. It's the government demonstrating their power over us. Just look at who they execute (the poor, destitute, mentally ill and dark skinned) and it tells you everything you need to know about what the death penalty actually is. There was no joy for me that day back in 1989. No great relief. Nothing.....................I felt nothing.
An absolutely brilliant post to this excellent Saturday morning esssy.
Way too kind. Soon enough I'll revert back to the norm.
Do you recommend this history, Bruce? I'd like to read a good one of the Vikings. I've been diving into the history of medieval Scotland and Britain---yes, I still make a distinction; Scotland Forever!--and Vikings were so much part of that.
Yes. One EMP and we're back to the preindustrial era. I don't think we're prepared for that.
I am in LV and was at a bar with a beer on tap called Kilt Lifter.
The Scot is an Englishman with a silly accent in a skirt. Fight me. :-)
Aye, lad, I would fight ye to the death, but me giant Scottish yam sacks are skidding on the peat because me bonnie wee kilt shrunk in the wash so I must knit a cradle for the boys before they explode and wipe out the Highlands with their volcanic Scot might . . .
Plus, I'm a third Scot, a third English, a third German, with some Irishers in the woodpile somewhere, so I am always fighting with meself and therefore so exhausted I can barely drag me and my yams to me pub. Be a good lad and spot me a pint, eh?
It's a slog but filled with interesting information. The first almost 100 pages were about the various gods, giants etc. I guess necessary to set the stage Seems to be picking up. I need to start reading more during the day but work keeps pulling me back in. 20 pages before bed and zzzz.......So much for "semi-retired."
My husband is a historian and he has said that the year 545 A.D. was the worst year to be alive.
Does he say Why? I would have thought the middle of the 14th century was fit that bill. It was the time the little ice age started and the black plague hit. Crops froze in the fields and people starved by the tens of thousands and continued to starve until hardier crops were introduce and of course the black plague killed about 1/3 of the population. The plague was so bad that wolves ran in the streets of Paris.
On the misery scale, I think that's hard to beat.
So twice within two millenia we had catastrophic crop failures, disease and social breakdown. And we think we so advanced and immune to that. I do worry about the world my grandchildren will live in.
btw - these dialogues are why I love what Bari has done here. Interaction with smart people who all see things a bit differently. Thanks you both.
Since history always repeats itself, we're long overdue for a Black Plague/Ice Age/sunblocking event that will change the world as we know it. Covid was only a dress rehearsal for the grade school pageant, and we handled that so terribly I cannot imagine how humanity would deal with a population killer of 33 percent.
I think the 9nly good thing that came out of covid is that regardless of which side each of us settled on we all know that something truly problematic is coming and we will react better. Better at assessing if it is truly problematic, better at responding if it is.
You think? Read 'Scared to Death'. We KEEP ON DOING this; and NEVER feckin' LEARN!
I would love to think we learned something valuable from this Covid experience, so we don't repeat the mistakes but accentuate the stuff that works during the next catastrophe. Politicians have short memories, though, so I'm not hopeful from that end. Everyday people DO learn, though, so next time we may just sort through the options for ourselves and work it out.
Could be the loss of the bees this go around. Or my faith says the world will be cleansed by fire next time. All that activity in the Ring of Fire and elsewhere gives me pause.
London calling to the faraway towns
Now war is declared and battle come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we ain't got no swing
Except for the ring of the truncheon thing
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning
I live by the river
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, you can go it alone
London calling to the zombies of death
Quit holding out and draw another breath
London calling and I don't want to shout
But while we were talking, I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no high
Except for that one with the yellowy eye
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear era, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning
I, I live by the river
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear era, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning
I, I live by the river
Now get this
London calling, yes, I was there, too
And you know what they said? Well, some of it was true
London calling at the top of the dial
And after all this, won't you give me a smile?
(London calling)
I never felt so much alike, alike, alike, alike
- The Clash
I'm sure it would have been no consolation to someone dying of the plague in the 14th century that historians have determined there was a worse time to be alive then their time. Just like I'm sure that someone currently dying of Ebola in Africa or someone being tortured by some Junta would not be comforted. It's not only time, it's also place and personal situation. All middle-class Americans are incredibly blessed and lucky compared to the majority of people, not only throughout human history, but even today.
That is what my husband says of modern Americans - that we are the freest, the healthiest, the wealthiest people in history. Are we perfect? No. Do we have much to be thankful for? Yes. Should we be happy? I think we should.
I cannot fathom how people in this country don’t see this. I’m well aware that everyone has different circumstances some better than others. But to not be able to see that simply being born in this country means you have won the lottery is willful blindness.
Yes but it's easily lost and we'd better start understanding that.
All practicaly EVERY "class" in the West. The poorest of us are as princes to a good half of the globe.
It's what Bruce Miller said above. Volcanic eruptions blotted out the sun for years, leading to crop failures and widespread famine. It was essentially nuclear winter before nukes.
When the Yellowstone Volcanic lets go, as it's well overdue to blow, everyone in North America--perhaps the world--will experience that nightmare.
We are also long overdue for a reversal of the poles and hominids were just getting started during the last one.
The Earth's core has stopped spinning.
That could happen, soon or in 500 years, but I'm not going to add it to my worry list.
Oh, I agree, I don't worry about things I can't control. Yellowstone is one of millions of things in that category!
I can't allow myself even to think of that. Truly terrifying and eminently real.
The two are pretty much interchangeable; Justinian's Plague was the first instance of bubonic plague in the West; the Black Death the second. Without either, England wouldn't have been and the world would be a very piss-poor place indeed... Oh, and wolves in Paris? What a good idea! /snark
Why wouldn't have England been? Why did England's existence depend on the plague?
We had been stopped at Badon Hill. Post-Roman Britain had stabilised and contained our invasions. "Artthurian" Britain was still in communication by sea with Justinian's Empire. We were not. The Plague of Justinian and the environmental downturn did for the British Recovery and the English advance resumed to establish the Seven Kingdoms that Athelstane would make England of. The Black Death saw England emerge from the Conquest and established the conditions for our mercantile and industrial greatness: the destruction of bastard feudalism and sheer muscle as a resort. That moat that is the wall of England ensured that the plague though dire was not so dire as it was in benighted Europe. There are other important contingencies; but absent these, absent England; absent England, absent Modern World. After England, the Deluge of the Now.
And if Harold had not taken the arrow in the eye with his untrained levies at Hastings, after his triumph at Stamford Bridge?
The bubonic plague still exists, by the way. And it may be evolving as we speak.
So we all might be in line for some misery ahead (If so, the writer of this essay might get the societal suffering she's looking for).
Wearing masks won't help. And vaccinations might not work.
Then again, not wearing masks and not getting the syringe won't help either..
Plague can be cured with antibiotics. What we really need to worry about is whatever they are cooking up with their gain-of-function research.
More and more bacteria have become antibiotic resistant. Some in the medical field have said the age of antibiotics might be over.
Antibiotic resistance is becoming more and more common and frankly is THE biggest problem in microbiology (I teach Medical Microbiology). We need to invest in finding solutions beyond antibiotics since bacteria evolve resistance so rapidly, but it is an uphill battle. The age of antibiotics is not completely over, but we are getting dangerously close. 😖 my father in law died in the ICU from a hospital acquired pneumonia cause by a resistant bacterial infection. They tried the antibiotic of last resort (causes kidney failure) and that didn’t work. Then there was nothing left to try, literally nothing. This situation is becoming more common. 😔
True. And potentially problematic!
True enough then, substitute antibiotics for vaccine - but will all Americans believe the CDC and whoever the government is that the medicines will work? Or only some?
That's where the suffering might come in.
This one will not unless I see some genuine mea culpas.
I think it depends. Antibiotics have been around forever. A lot of vaccines have, too (e.g. polio). The mRNA vaccines have not, and they don't seem to be working like we were told they would.
Bruce, thanks for posting. I've added The Children of Ash and Elm to my reading list!
Love this essay, and Mazel tov on your new child!
Just remember, women have been giving birth for the ages, our bodies are designed for this, and that you are strong and fierce!
Never have I felt so strongly about what I would suffer for and defend as I have when my children were born.
True true ... but we also seem to forget that until relatively recently 1 in 20 women died in childbirth. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s safe. I’m thankful everyday for the miracle of modern medicine that saved my son’s life during childbirth and angry everyday at the shame other women inflicted on me because I had a c section, as if there’s a prize you deserve beyond a healthy baby.
Agreed. We really do forget how dangerous childbirth was - and that patriarchal society allowing for multiple wives probably was considered an answer to that. But women now also elect c sections just to avoid pain, and doctors are losing age old skills because they default to c sections more and more. What happens when we no longer have antibiotics to clear infection or drugs to make the cut?
I’m grateful to the medicine that allowed for me to have a c section. This article makes me want to try for a totally natural birth next just to stick it to the anti-pain establishment! (But we’ll see…)
Wellllllll… not just to avoid pain. Also to avoid myriad other things. Childbirth doesn’t always go according to “birth plan”. There are so many bad outcomes that are avoided by c section which is why many physicians also elect c section when they have their own babies. Doulas are nice and I’m no fan of big pharma but we’ve come a long to way to prevent death and harm to babies who at the end of the day matter more to me than the experience. When it goes well that’s fantastic but when it doesn’t, it’s a lifetime of tragedy.
Very true!
I remember during my first Ironman triathlon (2.1 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run), at around mile 18 of the run, it was dark out (I'd started in the water at 8am), and the field had spread out. I was all alone in my misery, physically & mentally exhausted and hurting. Suddenly I remembered being in childbirth, (I had given birth twice, without an epidural), in the transition phase, which is near the end and typically the hardest. I thought, "this is the closest my male competitors will ever get to experiencing the extreme physical, emotional and mental challenge of enduring suffering in a very solitary place." It occurred to me that this may be why these extreme endurance events sell out in minutes. Perhaps in our relatively easy, comfortable lives, a part of us yearns for the suffering, and the profound joy and accomplishment of reaching that finish line. This was an excellent essay. My OB-Gyn could not understand why I would eschew the epidural. He said, "Why would you want to suffer when you don't need to?" I didn't bother explaining myself, but I was thinking, "There is always a price to pay for taking the easy road" (I was afraid of possible side effects eg chronic migraines, back issues). I often think to myself, and I tell my kids: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." I believe we parents need to do a better job of role modeling doing what's right, which may often mean not doing what's easy. I'm a therapist, and I firmly believe that if we focus on prioritizing sleep, exercise, healthy diet, time in nature, connecting with others, meaningful work, setting limits on screens/social media, nurturing a spiritual practice - we could prevent and solve so many issues.
It’s kinda funny we women try to think of comparable pain men endure to compare it to the birth process. My husband said having a kidney stone must be similar to the pain of childbirth. I can’t say because I’ve never had one. I can say am grateful to be a woman...I *get* to experience pregnancy and childbirth. I’m the lucky one.
Amen!
To transcend suffering gives meaning to life. The point of Camus' Myth of Sisyphus.
"OB-GYN" = Another Bloke Who Thinks He Knows Better Than Woman.
I had a female OB-GYN with my first.
You can ignore him, you can pretend he doesn’t exist, you can stick your head in the sand, you can make yourself believe he’s something else, but mean ol’ Mr. Reality will show up at your door, and you’ll pay the price for being alive sooner or later.
“What does not kill you makes you stronger”. Nietsche
Delayed gratification and overcoming pain and suffering with introspection will deepen your soul.
Delayed gratification has disappeared hasn’t it. Now it’s give them what they want when they want it and if oh by the way it doesn’t turn out that good or they mortgage their pay checks to get it, well then fix that too.
Fascinating article. Deeply insightful. With so much to comment on, the gem that grabbed me was, "the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill in the 1970s and 1980s in the name of individual rights and dignity"
We don't hear nearly enough about the root cause of modern vagrancy: utopian ideals. I'm in Atlanta with my daughter and not seeing a lot of dignity. Although I do see a lot of individuals whose mental illness and/or life choices are making life unbearable for everyone around them.
Yet no one has the courage to propose the obvious solution: institutionalizing the mentally ill and the dangerously addicted for the benefit of both those suffering and for society at large.
I don't think the deinstitutionalization was necessarily "to lessen pain." I think the short-sighted architects of the plan were responding to real inadequacies (pardon the euphemism for barbarian conditions) and didn't think about the negative consequences of simply letting people go free. They didn't lessen pain, they simply shifted it around. So often the architects of policies are not living the lives that are affected by their policies, due to their wealth, so they imagine they are "helping the oppressed" when they let loose dangerous individuals - they don't think about the victims of those individuals (who are often other mentally ill people, sometimes not). If we look honestly, I think a lot of what on the surface look like attempts to eradicate or reduce suffering are actually attempts to "clean one's conscience." I.e., "I don't support keeping people in mental hospitals (cause I'm so pure)" and "I don't think any breed of dog should be banned (because I'm so righteous)" and secret, unspoken, not-even-thought reality is "I get to think these things because in MY neighborhood there aren't insane people walking around waving knives or pitbulls off-leash." As one old ex-crack addict ex-con likes to tell me, "When I was young, society cared enough about us addicts to lock us up and get us sober. These days they let the kids die in the streets and they call it compassion." We're only pretending to lessen pain. I'm all for lessening pain, but the examples given in the essay are for the most part problems of failing to eradicate pain by going about it foolishly (or not going about it at all, but only pretending to.)
You are talking about unintended consequences.
The problem is that we've now had five decades of unintended consequences.
Psychologist try to reshape the individual to live inside the current structure of society. Sociologist try to reshape the structure to allow for a wider variety of individuals to live in it. Both projects are problematic. But, if you have ever traveled to other western countries you understand that homelessness/mental illness/violent crime while ubiquitous is handled much worse in the USA. No doubt we can do better. I always think it is funny when conservatives blame the liberals for all that is wrong hoping we will forget that not that long ago women were kept in the homes for domestic labor, blacks had a 80% poverty rate and children were routinely maimed working in factories and the right for routine assembly were suspended for workers while they were beaten in the streets.
You are doing precisely what you say those who blame the left are doing, you are just giving all the credit to the left for freedoms extended to various groups. But as for the homeless situation it is a combination of closing down mental health institutions without alternatives provisions therefor. And that was largely a result of liberalism run amok.. Homeless is also hugely impacted by rampant addiction in this country. Some addicts are self-medicating mentally I'll persons and some mentally ill persons got that way via drug-induced psychosis. Then there is the impact of the current economic downturn but those people are usually homeless temporarily.
Show me in my post where I was giving "all the credit to the left?" Yes, I pointed out places where conservatives had damaging ideas or decided to avoid issues for ideological reasons.
I am simply pointing out that ideology, whether on the left or right, leads people to point the finger at their imaginary enemies, which you go on to do; ".......largely the result of liberalism run amok." I think you can find hundreds of examples of items you can blame on either conservatives or liberals and by deselecting one side or another create a false dichotomy. Maybe there is a middle ground with the mental illness situation, maybe there isn't, but deinstitutionalization was implemented to try to help the situation and doesn't seem to have. Maybe institutionalization was really about denying the issue and hiding it away and now we have to face the issue? All I know is that in western Europe, Australia, etc. you don't see large encampments of homeless individuals like you do in almost any major city in the US. So other countries have ideas that we might consider.
You used to not "see"homeless encampment here either. They existed but were deemed not conducive to good governance for lack of a better term. IOW they were bad for city business. That ended with striking down laws which criminalized public camping in defined areas. And that was very much a leftist/progressive ideal. And the rationale was what you parroted, would you rather they be hidden? To be honest I do not know. In Austin it is no longer hidden. I no longer go to Austin. And not simply because I want to pretend it does not exist but because of two things. First I do not know the solution. I have represented mentally ill and/or addicted homeless people and I am empathetic, as I am for virtually every one of my clients. But in my experience all of the efforts to help are largely to no avail because you cannot help people unwilling to help themselves. Second I fear for my safety. Also the push to release people from.mental institutions was indeed a push from leftists/progressives. A VERY short-sighted push IMO. I hit Houston to attend school at the same time the institution doors were opened. They put severely ill.people on buses with a few dollars and that was it. They congregated around the Greyhound bus station downtown en masses. The Houston natives were stunned. I am sure it was a scene played out across the nation. Oddly enough though the idea of institutionalizing the mentally ill started out as a compassionate, progressive (not as in the political progressive idealogy) thing to do in the late 1800s. The institutions were cutting edge at that time. People were often commited at the behest of families thst could not care for them but loved them.nevertheless. But like a lot of things there was not proper oversight and probably insufficient funding. So the facilities deteriorated. But the answer, IMO, was not to shut them down, but rather to modernize them. Additionally oddly (how about that phraseology?) we are now seeing hard-core progressive ideologues that are overwhelmed by the homeless in their cities calling once again for involuntary commitment and rehabilitation. I am far from a progressive ideologue and I agree so yes I guess there is middle ground. As for where you gave credit to the left I cannot readily access your comment but my impression was that you did so when you referenced liberating women from servitude at home ( which also is not without issues) and black and brown people from their oppressive conditions. Do you not credit liberal/progressive idealogy for doing so?
You are trying to create a left/right dichotomy that does not exist. I am simply saying that the dichotomy of my side is right/good and your side is wrong/evil has never been accurate or productive. The left has indeed overstepped just as the right did previously. Despite all this noise, the trajectory is more human rights, not less and is only accomplished in short bursts. Power corrupts as it tries to keep feeding itself. True believers are the problem..............as they lack the capacity to compromise/understand/change.
The homelessness due to mental illness in Atlanta is out of control. And it pales in comparison to California. Utopia is a nightmare.
There’s a reason the word Utopia is used. It literally means “nowhere.”
Precisely
Now it’s darn near impossible to get somebody hospitalized even when all the signs of serious mental illness are there. Time is an enemy when it comes to mental breakdowns.
I really like where your mind went reading this beautiful article.
Never underestimate the power of over-correction. Somehow, there is just never quite the right amount of baby to throw out with the bath water...
Traverse City, MI, has a former insane asylum, Traverse City State Hospital, that has now been turned into a beautiful, interesting mixed use facility, the Village TC. They offer tours of the buildings and grounds where one can learn about the former hospital and hospital system, and that not all parts of the asylum system were as bad as some of the horror stories dictate, and apparently, this particular hospital, and quite a few others like it, actually even cultivated a high degree of “success” and a reputation that counters the one we all now think of when we hear the word asylum or institution. They were apparently fairly forward thinking and humane with regards to their care ethos, and striving to keep those individual rights and dignities in tact - who knew that was even possible? But alas, gone with the political wind.
To your point, isn’t there some middle ground where we can get at solving some of the societal problems we’re now facing?
Perhaps we’ll even have a day when a healthy, critical-thinking political center will be able to rebuff the attacks from the extremes, and we’ll get to a point of finally cultivating that illusive American Dream... by taking stewardship of the country and setting an actual good example for the world - how’s that for a fucking Utopia?
Care in the Community actually works in the places it has been implemented in whole. The trouble is, like most psychiatric and psychological treatments, the spending for proper implementation has been forgone. The results were in getting on for two centuries ago: institutionalisation doesn't work; it just lets you precious fucktards ignore us.
Brilliant article, thank you.
This reminds me of the recent article regarding obesity and Wegovy. It’s only human nature to wish to trade the discomfort of exercise and diet for a weekly injection. However, what exactly is the trade-off we’re making? Sure, Wegovy is extremely effective, and you will lose weight while taking it, but it comes with its own side effects. The most worrisome of them, to me, is that it indirectly and inevitably reinforces poor lifestyle choices. For example, if a person has a goal of eating fewer Cheetos but takes medication that’s effective no matter how many Cheetos they eat, then any attempt at lifestyle change is rendered useless.
As a result, you lose the wonderful, painful process of refining yourself. A person who denies themselves old desires (Netflix, Cheetos, whatever) when they desperately want to give in becomes a disciplined, perseverant person. Disciplined, perseverant people can contribute more to society, their families, etc., and thus feel more purpose. This is the ultimate goal: to get people in the best position from which to contribute and flourish. Discomfort, suffering, and strife are requisites in this. Instead of trying to escape or modulate the process, we should recognize its place in our personal development.
https://buildingdocs.substack.com/p/medical-alchemy-miracle-drug
I agree that Wegovy gets thrown around like candy and Botox, but sometimes things cannot be helped so easily.
Some people really just need help. It’s a shame they end up vilified because celebrities and others abuse it.
Everyone is so focused on criticizing these people for not eating better, but nobody’s willing to ask the question about why the medical establishment hasn’t provided better solutions.
Western medicine barely understands the fundamentals of nutrition and the body. Shutting off your hunger cue will likely help you lose weight, but why not figure out why that cue isn’t triggering correctly? Why not figure out why some bodies metabolize differently than others?
My husband lost 80 pounds and has maintained that healthy weight for over 10 years now. He eats three square meals a day and works out regularly. He still has high blood pressure. There would never be articles written about how he should stop taking it and just try harder. He will have to take it forever. He Mary have kidney or liver damage from it after 40 years (just like my dad).
I know someone on one of these weightloss injection meds. She’s tried harder to lose weight than anyone I know. She has years worth of food logs and activity tracker data to prove it. She’s lived every day of her adult life in a state of actual hunger. That’s an incredible amount of stress on the body. Her doctor started her on extremely low doses and is very slightly increasing every week. She has not had the extreme side effects and she is only just starting to lose a bit of weight after week 4. Most importantly, she doesn’t feel hungry. Her sleep is better, her emotions are better regulated, these all create a very positive chain reaction for a better quality of life. There is real non-weight benefits happening. Maybe she will have to take it forever, but my husband is never getting off that blood pressure med either.
A senior citizen that lives across the street from me is incredibly thin and has been her whole life. She always had a super fast metabolism and is one of the “lucky ones” who always tried to gain weight and couldn’t. She’s only in her 60s but her bones are a wreck because her body wouldn’t hold onto what it needed. She was the envy of everybody when she was in her younger years, but she has real problems now. Doctors never cared because thin = healthy in our world.
I absolutely acknowledge that there is a point where this all just boils down to nothing but personal control, but there is a HUGE gray area here. We do nothing to help the problem by fat shaming and ignoring the real issue that our medical systems and food systems are interconnected in ways they shouldn’t be. That our medical schools are teaching to treat and not to heal. That the money for research is tainted.
'That our medical schools are teaching to treat and not to heal.'
Very well said. That same approach is the failure of government as well.
If they heal the problem you can’t be dependent on them and they can’t control you.
I went to medical school. I was never taught “not to heal people.” The truth is I can’t “heal” anyone, as that is a supernatural power. I can only treat people with the tools medical science provides me. Doctors are not gods and we absolutely don’t understand all the intricacies of how the human body works. We are aware that each patient is an individual and must be treated as such-one size/medication does not fit all. We are certainly not withholding our best treatments so you will have to depend on us. Most doctors I know, myself included, want to help patients live their best lives. Lifestyle (nutrition, exercise, stress) is part of that, but not the only part. Good doctors try to work with their patients for the best outcomes.
Yes; pull the other one. If half that were true the shit-show of the last three years wouldn't have gotten out the door. The doctors were busy pursuing Nazi "medicine" both before and after Hitler. The lot of you deserve a good kicking at the very least.
Just like you and whatever your job is, we are individual humans. You paint with a very broad brush. I do not personally know doctors like the ones you are referring to. My son's pediatrician made sure he didn't take the covid booster even though he was traveling to Europe and it was required. Yes, she faked his vaccine card. I am horrified by the "transing" of children and I pray these people will be held accountable for their actions some day. My point is, many doctors do not believe in what is being pushed by the government and even their own medical societies and do not practice in a way they believe is harmful to patients. Most are decent folks with the intent to help. That said, science is inexact, and sometimes we get things wrong. I am sorry you had a bad experience. I wish you well.
Hi MAGC,
Thanks for your response, allow me to clarify my post.
My goal is to point out that, with a drug like Wegovy, the tendency will be to overprescribe. In overprescribing, we will outsource choice, lifestyle change, and general health to Big Pharma. This is a precedent that makes me uncomfortable; I feel it is detrimental both to the individual person and society in general. And I wish to point out the non-medical benefits of a successful diet, exercise, etc, of which suffering and struggle are present. I'm not vilifying or shaming the very people I wish to help.
There are indications for using the drug. And you make a great point regarding its own non-medical benefits; it’s a view that I share. Just like any other medication, the improvement in health will obviously improve a person’s well-being. The goal, though, should remain in limiting the use of medication when lifestyle change can have the same positive effect.
To your point regarding your husband (congrats to him, by the way; losing 80 lbs and keeping it off is one stellar achievement), let’s imagine he didn’t lose that weight and instead went on Wegovy. He’d now be on two medications, and there would be a chance they would interact with each other. The more medications a person is taking, the more likely potential medication interactions will negatively affect their health. This is something unique to medication use and is worth consideration. The "first-line treatment" for high blood pressure is lifestyle changes (DASH diet, smoking cessation, etc.), including weight loss. With Wegovy, if we prescribe it without always encouraging weight loss via diet and exercise, then we condemn people to dependency and potential drug interactions later in life. Pharmaceuticals can never replace lifestyle habits as the bedrock of sound health. This is my main overarching point.
To your point about a lack of solutions and "treating but not healing," there is truth to these things. Wegovy is an example of that—it is a literal treatment for obesity. But I think obesity is much more complicated than being looked at as "just" a medical problem. We fail our patients if we simply view it through a medical lens, hence the lack of solutions. In other words, I don’t wish to simply treat; I wish to heal, just as you and many, many other people do. Wegovy may be a part of that process for some, but it should not be the entire process for all.
Thanks again and happy Saturday
I appreciate your reply. I knew that you didn’t necessarily disagree with my view point. My larger goal in replying to your post was for others to see it in the thread and hopefully get everyone thinking about one extra layer on this topic.
At the end of the day all of it ties to another comment I posted earlier on this article. The overall avoidance of struggle is really a false morality to mask selfishness and a lack of willingness to deal with consequences of actions.
Obesity is partly metabolic & partly learned behavior. Why isn't it surprising that obese parents have obese children? Is it inherited or learned. When I was 18 I weighed 129lbs but I was active. I wasn't planted in front of a computer nor a TV. I often knocked off a half a gallon of ice cream. In those days low cholesterol, low fat foods didn't exist. The exception was fresh fruit & vegetables in the summer. In my medical practice I learned that often food gratification was the sole pleasure many experienced in life.
There is a kernal of truth in there; but then again there nearly always is something to build the bullshit story around. Sorry, I'd rather the majotrity be saved than the other road round.
Unless it becomes up close & personal. Then what hits the fan?
I went on a starvation diet about twenty years ago and lost 35 lbs in three months and have not just kept it off but lost another seven lbs. It is called self control, will power. The obese should try it sometimes.
I'll get hammered for suggesting self control. When I set my mind to something, I become a fanatic. I found it easy to lose weight. It is the way I am wired. Not everybody can do what I did but if they set their mind to it, they can do it.
Some will hate me what I have just said. Unlike the left, I believe one should take responsibility for their actions such as losing weight.
“But eradicating suffering in this country—or at least striving to reach that utopian goal—has come with some unforeseen consequences.”
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Nothing could possibly be *more* foreseen than the consequences of giving progressive left-wing utopianism a try for the 378th consecutive time. We have been telling you this literally the entire time.
Democrat ideology is essentially based on the idea that there doesn’t need to be suffering and that the only reason there is suffering is because Mean White Guys™️ in tuxedos got together in a back room and constructed society to benefit themselves and this is why we suffer. Because their plan was mean. An appealing narrative if you are nine years old and slow.
The idea that there doesn’t actually need to be suffering can easily be tested by walking into the forest in a swimsuit and seeing how the next 48 hours go. Obviously working at Wendy’s for not as much money as you would like is a gigantic upgrade over dying in the forest.
Because springing lunatics from mental hospitals where they were clothed, fed and given medical attention to live their lives under bridges or on subway grates is just so inspiring and liberating. If our progressives didn't have universally bad ideas they'd have no platform, at all.
Your privilege preserving epistemic pushback against alternate modes of knowing and being is noted, sir.
✍️✍️✍️
*licks envelope addressed to party headquarters
⚰️☠️😂 again, sir! You’re killing it in the comments
Kevin, you are a word master. It takes a minute to sink in, but your pithy responses are brilliant👍🏻👍🏻
Psychiatric medicine can actually work; trouble is the psychiatrists always get bored and wander off to pick fluff out of their belly buttons and the other half of the Cunning Plan, the bit that makes it actually work, goes out the window.
The best of mine was in the Alps when he diagnosed himself as having a heart attack. He then proceeded to STILL try and climb the mountain! Pillock. Another said "You're good to go!" to at least three people I know of who killed themselves before getting to the hospital doors.
Psychiatry set such a good example that the rest of the medical "profession" took off after them in the spring of 2020!
They are called quacks because you are best to duck when you see them.
I agree completely but wish you didn't use the word lunatic. If you loved one of those people forced to live as you described, you wouldn't say it.
Please; you ain't us and we can do without your "help", tah very much.
We humans need something against which to measure ourselves. It’s both evolutionary and psychological. How will we know what we’re capable of if we don’t stretch and push ourselves? And genes were not passed down by those who sat shivering in the cave when the wolves came down out of the mountains. Do not mistake me when I say that in one sense I understand what Nietzsche meant when he wrote “that which does not kill us makes us stronger.” The kernel of truth there is that it is during that ordeal of experiencing pain, discomfort, and uncertainty that we discover who really we are.
Thank you so much for this piece. I completely agree. I believe my suffering in life has given me the full human experience. As a mother, my childbirth experiences were mind-blowing. I suffered, yes, but there was beauty in the sacrifices, out of love for my babies, and it opened my eyes to the amazing capabilities of what the human body could endure. I revered every mother who had come before me since the beginning of time.
There is one suffering we can never escape, and that is death itself. I lost my mother in my 20s. Another experience of suffering and a grief journey that shaped me to who I am today.
There is plenty of suffering in childbirth and its aftermath (pregnancy related and child rearing) yet to come: my advice would still be to take the epidural. It’s a marathon not a sprint...
Regarding this comment, 1) I agree and 2) I learned an invaluable medical lesson when Dr. Allende gave me an epidural, delivering my child as a fourth year medical student: the relief of suffering is also part of the job of the doctor. “Cure if you can, comfort if you cannot, and never, ever take away hope!” Great article and great comments.
Except when that epidural slows the birthing process to such an extent that a cesarean is “required”. And this happens frequently (about 40% or more of the time). I just read of a young mother last week who “had” to have a cesarean, later developed an infection from the procedure, the infection developed into sepsis, requiring the amputation of both her hands and feet. That is not progress. Birthing is painful, yes, but after a period of time it’s over. Cesarean pain lasts for weeks.
There are few that would not agree with you, including the mothers of my 10 grandchildren. Back in the distant past we were told that natural childbirth was the best way to ensure our baby’s health during birthing. Three pregnancies, two went to 10 months, and each one with no painkillers. I would not change that today. Perhaps my pregnancies and deliveries were easy. I have nothing to compare them against and judge no one for doing anything differently. I felt that I was suffering for the well being of my child. Perhaps it help prepare me for the suffering to come. Who knows?
Excellent article. I live in a cold weather state. My kids walk to school nearly one mile each way (not both uphill 😀) with a group of kids. Once the weather drops below 30, the other parents start driving their kids. We still have our kids walk. I feel my job as a parent is to keep them safe, not to make them comfortable at all times. It’s good for them to overcome some adversity. They were fine walking in the cold weather, with good coats and hats. It gave them a feeling of accomplishment and resilience to start each day, not to mention some exercise, time to talk IRL, and fresh air. I never understood why the other parents needed to prevent their kids from feeling cold for 20 minutes.
I grew up in a cold climate as well. But suffering is relative, right? You might want to have your kids walk to school when it's 28 degrees. But zero degrees? With wind? I think you'll drive them.
Fahrenheit or Celsius? It matters: one is a lot colder than the other. Where matters also. An in-law of mine was in the merchant marine shipping to Narvik, Norway and the dockers would unload him in tees. Mid-winter. In the Arctic.
You mentioned 30. So I assumed F. Zero in F is quite cold..especially with wind.
The recent Joe Rogan episode with Russell Brand actually touches on this subject quite a bit. I encourage everyone to listen to it.